thanks for your comment, much appreciated.
I’m busy right now, but will post more on the ‘pulling’ in the upcoming week.

Thanks for reading!

Frank

I’ve blogrolled you. Thanks for sharing!

Julia

As you mentioned - the “stuff” from the past is likely going to continue to get in the way of their current and future goals until it is properly and consciously addressed.

I have a client who has been through some very emotionally and physically traumatic events and has been through therapy. When she has set goals in the past, she does okay only for a while and then starts to go backward. She is resistant to doing more therapy and so I am trying to gently guide her into looking at what types of old “unsupportive structures” are continuing to hinder her success. Knowing her, I feel I can take some risks and speak very candidly about these things. She knows that my interest is in her well-being and trusts me. As you said - I just don’t want to pretend that these obstacles don’t exist. That to me would be irresponsible.

I do think there is a lot of gray area, but I think you have put this all into words quite well. Thank you!

Very interesting thoughts you are having and they are prompting me to think more about UACs. I imagine dealing with UACs as an attachment is purely for a visual or demonstrative reason. When we or our client can see a UAC as an attachment, it is something that can be cut off or changed. That does not necessarily mean it is an attachment - I guess it is all about the way we relate to the UAC. The UAC itself is just a concept that allows us to deal with our beliefs and behaviours.

Personally I just see a UAC as something in my unconscious that directs my behaviour in certain situations. Once I am aware of the UAC I have a choice - hold onto it and let it keep controlling my behaviour or let it go. I might need a method to help me let it go such as the Sedona Method, EFT or Temporal Tapping or perhaps I can just behave from choice and intention.

We don’t have to hang onto a UAC but equally we might choose to (and our clients may do this). As a coach it’s not our place to judge whether this is right or wrong. A UAC just is what it is.The first step to change requires self awareness then comes the choice.

Great discussion Frank! Margit

Yes, I agree that looking at UACs as attachments is debatable, in the way they are defined. I still think it’s a working model for dealing with them.

If I get you right, you look at UACs as planted within you in the past. And I also hear that you think that you can’t cancel them at all. They stay, and you have to ’survive’ them. And they create or prop up behaviours that are more under your control than the UACs because you can discharge behaviours.

Interesting! I think that what you define goes beyond the ICA definition, or it expands it in a way.

To me an UAC is still what the letter ‘C’ says, a commitment, and I see it as something active rather than as an option you can choose. It has this notion of drive and even compulsion coming with it. Therefore if something has no power over you (anymore), it’s not a commitment in my book.

Two years ago I learned a whole lot about my UACs concerning my relationship with money. That was in a three day intensive I did in Los Angeles (for more info check out ‘Services and Products’ I recommend on the top left of this blog page). And I think I know what you might have in mind about things being planted in your mind at an early age. I call it conditioning. And a lot of conditioning and underlying messages are still carried to masses of people by the media on an ongoing basis. Anyway.

I guess we’re only dealing with wording issues here. And I find it highly intriguing to have a model that is as close to the ‘truth’ as possible, because that must yield the best methods to get people into a better state.

Thanks again for your participation, Limor!

Frank

thanks for your comment.

Actually all the concepts are defined, and I used the definition put forward by the ICA. What’s wrong with discussing ICA’s most distinguished concept and how it relates to my last post and Margit’s comment?

There’s a rather precise description of what the ICA considers a UAC in the material accompaigning the class (the pdf). Why would the ICA try to define the term rather than just looking at it as a matter of heart? Why don’t they just let go of figuring things out?

Please be more specific: Just observe what?

Best,

Frank

P.S.: Angela Bird has clarified the connection between UACs and letting go in the class on Thursday. More in my next post …

I really like how adventurous and curious you are. It inspires me.

At the same time, there is a lot of running around in the head here! Like you are trying to figure out a matter of the heart using your mind.

What would it be like if you let go of trying to figure this out and just observed instead?

Warmly ~
Cassandra

thanks for reading, and your comment, great input!

The concept of letting go of expectations is really big. I’m having thoughts about how that can go together with the game playing idea, and I’m going create another post on this blog on this. I think it’s too important to deal with it here in the comment section.

So, thank you again, Margit, and stay tuned …

Frank

Interesting post! I agree totally with you statement “Our life is steered by our thoughts and feelings, and on a higher level by our hopes, expectations, perceptions, and thinking habits. How we perceive setbacks and how big we dare to think will get us to where we end up.”

I am mulling on the “You’re always winning at the game you’re playing”…what if life wasn’t about winning or losing the game. What if it is just about being in the game? What if we could let go of our expectation and using that as a measuring stick?

This doesn’t mean letting go of our goals, or even putting measurable outcomes on those goals to track our progress. I am talking about an internal shift of letting go.

The resistance to your software - what is this and how is this serving you? (because in some way it will be - what belief or opinion is this supporting?)

Margit

It’s not only that I FEEL heavy, I AM heavy. Without telling you the exact number of kilos or pounds I gained, trust me, it’s *a lot*.

Therefore running is no good at the moment, because it would strain my joints much more than is healthy. Walking and cycling, and similar activities are alternatives that work.

I agree that exercising causes weight loss not because it burns stored fat and kicks the metabolism, but is also makes us want to eat healthier. Somehow the body is intelligent enough to crave the good stuff when we put pressure on it.

Regarding the game, yes, I’m working on it with one of my peer coaches, and I got started!

Cheers,

Frank

How about you make a game of running and exercise only? weight loss will follow.

I feel your pain, I too am a long distance runner and know how difficult it is to run when one feels “heavy” Good luck!

Anyway, to all of those people like myself who throw 110 percent of themselves into every project, we’re doing the right thing!

Well you already know that I agree with you! I love your analogy of the climber. Climbers do have to be completely in the moment…but before they start they have a certain sense of adventure and of course the will to climb up. And when they are in the moment they take each step at a time, and they are fully engrossed. This is much like what we teach our clients.

In common with the climber, before the clients come to us they need to have the will to do whatever it is they come to us for…and preferably a little sense of adventure also

Margit